Speaking Through Dreams

Usually when I dream, it’s very random. Scenes pass quickly and are very disconnected. I could be at school talking to a student, when suddenly the student changes into Justin Timberlake and we’re standing by a lake, and then a rocket is launching into the sky while giant frogs begin to attack my friends and me. I mean, nothing makes sense, it’s disjointed and awkward, and I quickly forget the details when I wake up in the morning.

But there have been a couple times in my life where I've dreamed very vividly. It’s one long running scene, I recognize the people with me, and I can remember every detail when I wake up. The first time I had a dream like that was last May.

In that dream, I was in a meeting room, when a gunman walked in and held a gun to a woman’s head. The man* next to me immediately began praying in tongues against the spirit of darkness. I joined in, and as we were praying over the gunman, the gunman began weeping. The other man and I led the gunman to the Lord, and I began prophesying that the man would have an impact in prison ministry someday.

When I woke up from this, I was shaken, but I knew that I had to write down the details as best I could. I had a strong sense that it was a prophetic dream, that there was a message in it from the Lord. I took the dream to a friend, and she interpreted it very quickly for me. The interpretations of dreams amaze me, because when they’re said, it’s like a light bulb sparks above my head. I always think, “Oh my word. That was so obvious! Why couldn't I come up with that?”  

The interpretation here was that I was learning how to operate in similar spiritual giftings to the man in my dream (namely, prophecy) and boldly walking in that. It also declared that I would be effective even when I felt penned in or trapped.

Wednesday night, I had another prophetic dream. It woke me up at 2:30 and I knew that I had to write it down. I could tell it was from the Lord because when I woke up the next morning, I remembered the dream so clearly that I didn't even need to look at what I had written in the middle of the night.

In this dream, I was standing at the side of a large room, maybe a dance studio or practice room, where lots of people were dancing. A girl was standing next to me, and she was spinning some kind of voodoo magic in her hands. As we watched everyone dance, it was clear that there was a light on a woman that wasn't on everyone else. It was the Holy Spirit resting upon her. So the girl took aim and cast her magic directly at the woman. It hit her in the leg, and she fell in pain. Immediately, I ran to her and began praying against the attack. (Interestingly enough, I wasn't praying for healing.) I ran out of words very quickly because the demonic presence was so strong. It was difficult to even think as I was praying. So I started praying in tongues, over and over, and soon everyone in the room gathered around, on their knees, and they started praying in tongues. The woman rose up, completely healed, and the attack was gone. The girl with the spell was gone, and everyone was safe. Another woman walked up, and she told us that she had never experienced speaking in tongues or warfare before, but she had been feeling like she was supposed to be connected to God somehow, and this experience sealed that for her.

This interpretation was much more personal to both the woman in the dream who was attacked and to me, so I won’t share all the details. But it showed me that I am supposed to be interceding more, and that if an attack comes, God will give me the discernment to know what to pray. It also was a confirmation that signs and wonders are for nonbelievers, and that I/we need to be walking more fully in the power and presence of God.

I guess I want to cap this by saying I am completely overwhelmed with my God. This God, who created the galaxies, earth, and every person who’s ever been conceived, loves His individual children enough to speak to them through dreams. He loves me enough to wake me up with a message. Both of these dreams, though they weren't pleasant in the moment, served to encourage and inspire me to seek after the Lord even more. God loves His people, and He will be glorified. I am honored that He chooses to give me tiny glimpses of those truths as I sleep. 

*I know who the people were in my dreams (with the exception of the "bad guys"), but I don't want to share those here.

Drowning in Grace

Recently, I've been feeling somewhat frustrated that I've been holding myself back from seeking God like I should be. This frustration came at me full-force Tuesday night, so I made a decision that come Wednesday's chapel at school, I would worship with everything that I had.

One of the songs we sang was "How He Loves" by the David Crowder Band. To be honest, I'm not a huge fan of this song as a worship song. It doesn't feel like direct worship; it feels like I'm talking to someone else about God, as opposed to talking TO God. However, I closed my eyes and tried to soak in the fact that God loves me, and as I sang the line "drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes," I felt completely overwhelmed with His love. I could see the face of Jesus, and His eyes were swimming with the love and grace that He extends towards me, towards all of us. I can't describe how His eyes looked in my mind. But the next line says, "If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking." And I felt a tangible presence on me, like it was pushing me down, sinking me into that grace and love.

I stayed on my feet, but when I opened my eyes, I felt like God wanted to use this time in chapel to tell ALL the students how much He loved them, to drown all of them in His grace. Sometimes, I truly doubt that I'm hearing from God, so I stayed where I was for a minute, but then I felt Him say, "Trust what you hear," which is a lesson He's been teaching me for the past few months. So I walked over to my principal and told him what I thought God was saying about showing His love to kids who had never truly felt it before. After I delivered the word to him, we watched an Easter video, took an offering, and then returned to our seats, so it felt a little like the moment had passed.

As I sat down, I sent a text to Deedra (who wasn't in the chapel service) that said, "There is such a heavy anointing for God's love to touch dry hearts." I felt jittery and excited, like I often feel when God is about to move. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be the one who ushered it in or if I was supposed to wait on someone else. But the moment wasn't quite there, so I settled back to listen to our speaker.

Pastor Ednorleatha Long, a woman who walks in the prophetic and has a beautiful heart after God, delivered the message to our students. As she began speaking, I realized that she was aware of the same anointing. Her message was all about God's grace and love pouring out like rivers over our dry and stopped-up hearts. Wow! What a confirmation to me that I had heard the Lord clearly! She prayed this message over the students, and as we moved back to a place of worship, students began drifting away to pray. Some prayed by themselves, some with a friend, and some with a teacher or Pastor Long.

After that, as Mr. Lane closed out the service, he called me up to pray, which made total sense, because I sensed that I would speak at some point. I don't even remember what I prayed, because the Holy Spirit was speaking through me at that moment. I turned my own brain off and let Him lead. When everyone was leaving, I walked straight to Pastor Long, and she grabbed me in a hug. Mr. Lane said, "This is who gave me that word right before you spoke." And Pastor Long laughed and said that she knew it was the Lord, because He had given her the same word, and that I had prayed out exactly what God had laid on her heart.

Her message would not have changed if I had not had that word. Nothing about yesterday happened because God had spoken to me. I believe He spoke to me as a confirmation of His love over my own dry heart. What an amazing God we serve, that He would care enough to use moments like that to pour out His grace!

Transitioning

For anyone who is a part of my local life, you are aware that I recently switched churches. I had several reasons for this (really weighty) decision. Before I go into those, I want to give you a quick backstory.

From one church home...

I grew up (birth through sixth grade) attending the same church my parents and grandparents attended. For several reasons that are still slightly unknown to me, my family switched churches when I was in junior high. I had a tough time with that transition at first, but as I got involved with the youth group, the Greenville Free Methodist Church became home. For the past two decades, it's the only church I've known. And though it took me awhile, I finally became a member about four years ago. As an adult, I've been involved with several ministries. I volunteered with the youth group for almost ten years. I helped make coffee during the community cafe time. I was a Core Circle Connector for awhile, and I served on a committee when the leadership was looking to revamp some different ministries. I attended various Sunday School classes at different times, and I was a member of a few different small groups. I walked in the door each Sunday and felt such peace and gratitude to belong to such an inviting, Jesus-centered church. It helped that my best friend happened to be the worship leader, and the rest of my friends helped with the youth group as well. The FM church was so much more than a place to be on Sundays and Wednesdays; they were my family.

For the past four years, I've been teaching at Collinsville Christian Academy, which uses the building owned by Son Life Church. Before teaching at CCA, I didn't know anything about the school or church, except that I knew a handful of kids or families who had been affiliated with one or both at some point. I did know that I had some impression that the church was "weird." Whatever that meant. That makes me laugh now, because I had no basis for it, and because now that I know everyone, I realize that I was right! Haha :)

God led me to CCA, without question. And each year that I've stayed, I've been more and more invested in the students, families, communities, and ministries surrounding it. And since Ronnie and I both drive many miles west to work, we've talked for years about selling our house and moving that direction. I figured it was inevitable that at some point in the future, I would move west and therefore attend Son Life.

However, last fall, I felt God stir my heart for something new. And while it felt like the right thing to do, it was an incredibly hard reality to face. I never thought I would still be living in Bond County, still leading a discipleship group in Greenville, and decide to switch churches.

...to another church home.

I've mentioned in previous posts that last fall was a difficult time for me, spiritually, and that God was using that time to grow me. I was walking through some of those things with a friend from Son Life, and during that same time period, Son Life Church was doing a sermon series called Character Under Construction. Through several different incidents that I won't share here, I felt that God was calling me to attend SL for a couple months while I was walking through that process.

After those two months, I reassessed. Actually, I prayed, asked God lots of questions, and asked friends if they had any insight for me. I won't forget a text conversation I had with one of my discipleship girls. She told me that God wanted me to trust that I was hearing His voice for myself. At that moment, it was clear to me what He was saying. Then she asked, "What did you decide?" And I replied, "You already know." And it was true. While God was telling me that I was ready for the transition, He was also putting it on Haley's heart. This was confirmed in several other ways over the next few days, especially as I began to see God's hand at work for my family and me in this new place.

I still feel funny typing all of this for the world to see. Switching churches is a strange concept to me. It's never been a decision I've had to face before. I had no desire to leave a church home and family that's been nothing but amazing for over twenty years. In fact, I absolutely love where the Greenville church is heading, and I'm sad that I might not be around to see lots and lots of prayers come to fruition.

But I am so at peace. Because I'm already in Collinsville five days a week, I feel very invested in the town. I have connections with so many church families because I teach their children at school. I have some of the best relationships with other godly wives and mothers. And I know that my future is at this place. I'm still waiting for God to release me to "plug in"  like I had been at Greenville, but I know that the time is coming.