Eternal Echoes

I spent this past Friday night at a camp way out in the boonies of Waterloo with the Son Life youth group. Except for accidentally staying too late and spending the night on the world's most uncomfortable mattress, it was a great night. 

Aaron gave the message after a fantastic time of worship with one of the Greenville College touring teams. The theme for the weekend was Rise Up, and it had a superhero focus. (Sidenote: I have a messy house, lunch in the oven, a Barbie Fairytopia movie playing, and Jorie jumping around. This could be a VERY random and not well-written blog post ) Anyway, I jotted down a few lines that Aaron said that stuck with me. God was definitely getting my attention through this night. 

The first was when Aaron was talking about Superman and how he couldn't save his parents. Superman "had all the power; he just didn't have the discipline to know what to do with it." Last year, during what I've called the "year of fire," I felt like I (along with several of my discipleship girls) had been given a lot of "power." In other words, the Holy Spirit showed up among us and manifested quite frequently in different scenarios. Unfortunately, we lacked the discipline to always know what to do with it. And now, even though that same Spirit still lives inside us, the power is happening less frequently because of my own lack of personal devotion time with my Jesus. That was a convicting, yet hopeful statement for me to hear. 

To go along with it, Aaron made the statement that "God doesn't allow you to stay content." I'm definitely in a place of contentment right now. When last year's fire dwindled this past summer, it led me into an autumn of personal turmoil. I hit bottom, emotionally and spiritually, several times as God used a friend to help counsel me through some of my past wounds and hurts. It was difficult, it was painful, and I felt like I was drowning through much of it. However, it was also a time of growth and rising from the ashes. Since Christmas, I've felt peace and rest in many of those areas. 

But God doesn't allow us to stay content. 

So now is the season for me to "press in" once again (as much as I hate that phrase, I am starting to understand its meaning, and it's exactly what I should be doing). I want to begin pursuing my relationship with Jesus more than I have before. I want to learn more about His love and begin to love Him more than I have. 

And finally, Aaron talked about how each of us has a calling that God has placed on our lives and on our futures. He used a personal story to explain that sometimes, our calling comes directly from God and doesn't have to be placed on us through a word of prophecy from someone else. And I felt the confirmation, more than I have in years, that my calling right now is to teach and minister at CCA. In August of 2009, when I asked God if I should take the job that I was offered, His response was, "To this you were called." Nothing could have been clearer. And though the last four years haven't been the easiest, each season is shaping me into fulfilling that calling placed on my life. Since that time, I've also been given the word that I have the mantle of revivalist (in fact, I think Aaron spoke that word over me at a CCA chapel). I don't take either of those callings lightly, but I haven't been pursuing them with the passion that I should. 

During the worship time Friday night

After those words of conviction and inspiration, we went back into a time of worship. As we were singing and praising, Deedra offered an altar call for the spirit of the martyr, that the students would be willing to lay down their reputations, relationships, and possibly their lives to pursue His presence and to put more weight on the eternal than on the temporary. Every student knelt at the altar while we prayed over them. As we laid hands on them, Deedra prayed out that their voices would be, in her own words, "eternal echoes that resound in the heavenly places, where we're aware of the cloud of witnesses and the angels that surround His throne." 

As she prayed that, her voice began to literally echo. I don't mean normal microphone reverb; I mean her voice echoed supernaturally, and I "saw" it bounce through halls and cavernous spaces, off of pillars and through great big rooms. When I told her about that, she said that she had heard it too. She later told me that she felt an angelic presence all around as we were worshiping. I believe it. 

More things happened. More than I could write, and my words wouldn't do them justice anyway. 

As an English teacher, I know I need to wrap this in a tidy conclusion, but I don't have a great one. So I'm going to end with this statement: I choose to lay down everything that I hold close to pursue God and the calling that He's placed on my life with a passion I've never felt before. 

You are my cloud of witnesses. 

A Moment of Dawn

Time for another confession. Sometimes, when I'm driving, I take pictures of the sky. 

This morning's sunrise

Forgive me, police officers. But I live in a very shaded town, and the open highway past the first Highland exit is absolutely perfect for sunrise pictures. Plus, with the new iPhone, it only takes one click of a button to take a picture, so it's fairly quick and safe. 

This morning, the sky was beautiful. Dark clouds surrounded the sun, so it looked as if the sun was literally breaking through the horizon. In the past couple months, I've experienced some breathtaking sunrises. That's the one perk of driving to school before most of the world is awake. 

January 24 sunrise

And it made me think.God paints these beautiful skies for everyone to enjoy. Some mornings, I drive to school, worshiping His creativity and faithfulness. But other mornings, the sky is rainy, dreary, gray, and cloudy.

Does God sit back on those mornings, paintbrush in hand, and say, "Oh, shoot. I was going to paint the sunrise, but it's raining. Drats, foiled again!" (Because, apparently, God speaks like the villains in old Scooby Doo episodes.)

February 8 sunrise

No way. God isn't surprised by rain. It doesn't block Him in any way. Just because I can't see the sunrise doesn't mean that it's not there. It is. Somewhere beyond the clouds of my vision, there's a gorgeous sunrise. I just can't see it because of the circumstances standing in my way. 

This is the time for the parallel between the literal rain and sunrises and the metaphorical, but it's almost too obvious for words. So I'll leave you with the chorus of a Brandon Heath song called (quite serendipitously) "Sunrise."

All you need is a sunrise

Just a moment of dawn

If you're lost in the twilight

Close your eyes and move on

When you're tired in the waiting

Even though it's gonna take you

A little more time 

Just a little more time the sun's gonna find you.

Prepare Ye the Way

Total confession moment: I don't read the Bible very regularly.

Pick your jaws back up, smart-alecks. You're not surprised.

I try. I do. I go through seasons where I'm awesome at it. I read every night. God speaks to me. We have conversations. It's lovely.
...and then I don't pick my Bible up for months. I have a lot of excuses and justifications for why not, but none of them really hold up. But I can tell a difference from those seasons when I'm dwelling in the Word and when I'm not. And I like the seasons of devotion much better.

Anyway, all of that is to tell you about what I read last night. I'm in a lazy season, but last night I stared at my nightstand, and I saw the Karen Kingsbury book that I'm in the middle of and my new Bible that I got for my birthday. As much as I wanted to immerse myself back in the lives of Dayne and Katy, I felt that stirring in my soul. You know the one... it's that little voice from God, whispering, "I miss you."

My 2013 birthday Bible

So I picked up my brand-spankin' new, beautiful raspberry-colored, paperback, silver-edged, medium-sized Bible that Kristen gave me for Christmas (it's kind of our "thing." She buys me Bibles; I read them occasionally). And I randomly opened it to... the gospel of John, chapter 1.

Fancy that. The chapter that this entire blog is, literally, "centered" on. ANYWAY... (am I ever going to get to my point?) I started reading from verse 35 to 37, which say, "The next day John (the Baptist) was there again with two of his disciples. When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, 'Look, the Lamb of God!' When the two disciples heard him say this, they followed Jesus."

Whoa. Anyone else catch that? John the Baptist (hereafter referred to as JB, though not to be confused with the amazingly talented young singer with the same initials) had groupies. But then he pointed at Jesus, and his groupies deserted him for Jesus. And JB was okay with that. More than okay. It was his LIFE-LONG GOAL for that to happen.

The entire first chapter of John talks about JB. He was a man completely set apart for God. He's described as one who "came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe" (1:7). And the writer explains in no uncertain terms that JB wasn't the light himself; he was just a witness. When the Levites asked him if he was the Messiah, JB answered, "I am the voice of one calling in the wilderness, 'Make straight the way for the Lord'" (1:23).

JB's entire life had been leading up to the moment when he could point at the Messiah and say, "That's Him!" When he was able to do that, his mission was accomplished. JB's own followers turned and began walking after Jesus, and the story of Jesus's ministry began.

I feel like I would have been a little put-out at the moment. I probably would have said something really dumb, like, "Hey, where are you guys going? Come back! I can keep telling you about Jesus! He's going to do some really cool things. I read about them in Isaiah. Let me tell you about all the prophecies He's going to fulfill."

Obviously, that doesn't even make sense. Why would people want to hear secondhand information when they could follow the real thing? But don't we expect that sometimes? Especially those of us who work in ministry. Are we ever tempted to pat ourselves on the back and think, "Wow, I'm doing a really great job of discipling (or preaching, or praying, or leading, or teaching)," when really it's not about us at all?

What is the goal of my life? Am I pointing people to Jesus?

It's SO not about me. Or you. Not convinced? Go back to the theme verse, John 1:3. It's only, always about Jesus.